When Habits Fail Us...

“If you want different in your life, your actions will need to match that. Switch up your routines, create newer goals, take massive risks, pick up new hobbies, and try different styles. Fully embody the energy of change.” ~Robin S. Baker

Five years ago this week, we moved out of our house of 18 years and began our transformation into full-time RVers. At that time, I was taking the first step toward making a significant life change: Letting go of what bound us to our yesterday and prevented us from claiming our tomorrow! My reliance on habits to navigate daily life was the most significant challenge to this letting go. My early professional career was influenced by various people discussing forming good habits. "Experts" wrote books and held seminars extolling the virtue of habits. And so, by the end of that career, I had created a very habitual life! And letting go of that auto-living was intimidating. But with deep resolve, I cut myself adrift and began my journey down a long and winding stream. There were many currents, shoals, and hidden tree stumps. And, without habits to autopilot me, I felt very uncomfortable. So, my solution? Create more habits to make life feel more normal. But, in the ensuing years, I have learned a bit more about navigating my life. In the process, I have learned the difference between a habit and a routine.

On Sunday, emboldened by warmer long-range weather forecasts, we packed away many of our winter clothes. Easily accessible storage is a precious commodity in Koko. The space for hanging clothes is only a single bar that is four feet long. Our house had twenty+ feet of double bars in several walk-in closets. Our Garage/Storage and five large closets in our apartment became one cupboard in Koko that is 3x4x3 feet. And a quarter of this space is for dirty laundry. We had no choice but to use the limited deep storage under the bed for our out-of-season clothes. Old habits from life in Houston said it was time to put away the long-sleeved shirts and heavy coats and make room for shorts and more tee shirts! It did not take much thought, which is the critical attribute for habits. But the road has taught us that such unthinking habits do not serve us very well in the unpredictable weather of full-time RV life. We decided to risk it! But had to stop and think through leaving room clothes for layering just in case the forecast was too optimistic. This converted a habit into a routine, and it made all the difference. A habit requires little to no thought or attentiveness. Whereas a routine is a choice that requires paying attention to and sorting out the details.

 

Our trip on Tuesday to the National Butterfly Center and Bentsen – Rio Grande Valley State Park offered us a chance to enjoy this Rio Grande Valley weather. We were greeted at the National Butterfly Center by Spike, who seemed very happy to see us again! (Though I am not sure that is a grin!) We planned on lunch at the Center. Fortunately, in the last week, we converted a failed habit of setting out our lunch to pick up on the way out of the door into a routine of keeping our ready-to-go backpack in the jeep. That change made it possible to have lunch with the birds and butterflies. Here are a few of our lunch partners. 

 

 

 

Turkey strutting their stuff!

Altamira Oriole

Hybrid Altamira and Adubon's Oriole

Yellow-Throated Warbler

Twisted Turkey (Sounds like a Rock Band)

Audubon's Oriole

1st Year Altamira Oriole

Northern Cardinal

Great-tailed Grackle

Golden-fronted Woodpecker

Curve-billed Thrasher

Femaile Grackle

Ladder-backed Woodpecker

Red Admiral

American Snout

Bashful Kinglet

Spike enjoying the sunshine.

American Snout

Chachalaca

Male Great-tailed Grackle performing for the ladies.

Male Great-tailed Grackle in a staring contest. He won!

Golden-fronted Woodpecker enjoying his fruit break.

 

The next day, it was time to head to H-E-B and replenish the larder. One of our routines is to only shop after lunch! We come home with way too many snacky foods. So, we found a Bike and Burger Bar across the street from H-E-B. We have made a habit of avoiding places called bike bars, but we decided to give it a chance since it was so convenient. It turned out well. We ate an excellent burger at a Bicycle Bar! There was a Bicycle Shop in the back, and it was decorated with all kinds of bikes. And, like Fuddruckers, they had the fixings available so that you could build your own sandwich. (Most restaurants do not know how to construct an “eatable” burger.) Ahhh…. A nice full stomach for our shopping trip! We were ready to walk the aisles at H-E-B.

 

Chachalaca portait

On Friday, the winds died down enough to allow us to get out and look for birds at Frontera Audubon in Weslaco. We have been hearing about rare birds at the Audubon over the last few weeks and hoped to add a couple new species to our list. This is an old estate that was donated to Audubon many years ago. The Thicket is an excellent habitat with well-tended trails and multiple feeding stations (each with a resident squirrel “guarding” the feeders). Unfortunately, they only had one water drip working, and the rest of the park was dry. We saw a lot more birders (and squirrels) than birds. Luck did not shine on us that day. In the past, my frustration would get the better of me because I habitually believed that if I made the trip to see them, then the least the birds could do was show up. This attitude was not about thinking but a feeling grounded in a poor assumption. Habits do not involve thought, only assumptions, and when they are thwarted, frustration develops. And so, despite the disappointment, we had a good afternoon. We saw a few birds and enjoyed watching the wildlife. We will return another day for the rare birds. Here are a few photos from the day.

Peek-a-boo Cardinal

Chachalaca's pondering the possibilities!

A wise Squirrel who understand the power of routines!

Going down!

Almost there!

Squeezing into to get the seeds.

"Drat!" (I cleaned up his language.)

I oh well. Time to empty the feeder!

Feasting

Modelling class

The Graduate!

Gotta love bugs and berries!

Blowing in the wind!

Another feeder, another squirrel.

An interrupted nap!

 

The last year has taught me to adopt more routines and limit my habits. Habits are mentally effortless. They involve developing automatic motions for things that do not need any thought. But routines require presence, intention, and attention, and accountability. All of these serve me well every single day. They work exceptionally well when my assumptions fall short, and I need to pay attention to what I am doing. Then, when things do not work out well, I may be disappointed but recognize the problem and can try something else next time! 

 

“The more you get set into your own world, the smaller your world becomes.” ~J.R. Rim

 

Life on the road is about pushing back the boundaries and expanding our home. Habits make our world smaller and more manageable. Routines open our world while still allowing us some limited ability to handle the changes that travel with us. This is made possible by more routines and fewer habits. (Check out this link to read more about habits vs. routines. https://www.nirandfar.com/habits/)

 

Two and a half weeks and counting before we are back on the road. I hope you will follow along as we head north, through the Midwest, and into the wilds of Minnesota.

 

Travel well, my friends!

Bob