Just Being Myself

Life on the road, especially in retirement, has many gifts for the attentive wanderer. This week, I have become aware that our lifestyle allows me to toss aside the pigeonholes where I hide away bits and pieces of myself. I do not have a boss or board to keep happy. I am not overburdened with people whose needs require that I bite my tongue constantly. Retirement and the experiences that come with it offer me the freedom to be who I am to a greater degree than I have ever had in the last 70 years. To a large degree, I don’t need to compartmentalize and fragment who I am to get along. I suspect this is why the “curmudgeon” emerges, but I am not offended by that label and wear it proudly most of the time! It offers me the chance for greater integration of who I am into the life I live! That is well worth the trade-off. This week, I am relaxing into who I am and allowing my “doing” to live comfortably with my “being” as we wander through North Central Texas.

We started our week on Sunday in the rain at Chappell Hill Luxury RV Resort. We enjoyed a quiet morning in Koko and then drove to College Station to visit with Marlene’s Dad, Brother, and Sister-in-law. We had an enjoyable afternoon catching up and sharing stories about our adventures since we saw them last Fall. After fifty years, these relationships have settled into a comfort zone grounded in accepting one another as we are. No games or attempts to impress or compete. Instead, we ride the gentle waves of time. Even when those waves are stirred up by a storm, it is good to relax on the waves and even "hang ten" occasionally.

 

Marlene's Cousins

On Monday, we met two of Marlene’s cousins for lunch at The Independence Store on Lueckemeyer Road in Independence. This small store/cafe was built by Marlene's Grandfather's cousin and still bears the family name on a façade created in the 1930s based on the Alamo. I enjoyed listening to Marlene and her cousins talk about their kids and grandkids and the last couple of decades of life! Later in the week, we met Marlene's Aunt and Cousin for lunch. Marlene enjoyed a couple of hours just being Marlene Roese Dees, daughter of Marjorie Lueckemeyer, and Aunt Betty's niece. Catching up renews these family relationships with a new familiarity. The laughter, empathy, and a sense of belonging speak to a heart and soul and remind us that life is not a solo journey. We have a yesterday that we can accept for what it was. Tomorrow, however, is wide open, and the renewed familiarity shapes the future of these relationships. We left with a desire to stay in touch. Thank you, FB. We look forward to getting together again when time and travel permit.

 

The Family at Blue Bell Creamery

On Tuesday, Melissa and grandsons Anthony, Luke, and Alex drove up from Galveston for the day. We visit this area every Spring to see the wildflowers and the two cemeteries where Marlene's family are buried. This year, Marlene was able to show the next generation where their family is buried and tell some of the family stories. These moments allow us to help these young men to know that we are a family. In time, they can grow into accepting themselves as part of a larger family and understand more about themselves as children of German Immigrants who traveled the Atlantic to start a new life in the rolling hills of Texas. Here are a few shots from our day at Old Baylor, Independence, and Old Washington. 

At Old Baylor

The Dogrun at Old Baylor

 

 Hearing the story!

Exploring the story!

This is Marlene's Cousin, Debra who retired from Blue Bell Creamery. This picture is in the Creamery Museum and shows her mixing the first batch of Cookies and Cream Ice Cream many years ago.  The plaque says that she had to open every bag of Oreos by hand before mixing them into the Ice Cream. Fortunately they automated the process later on, but imagine spending you day opening Oreo bags?

Along with visiting family, we enjoy seeing the Bluebonnets and Indian Paintbrush that cover the hills this time of year. We were fortunate that they are approaching a peak bloom in mid-March. I do not need to explain the significance of the Bluebonnet to any Texan. But, for the rest of you, this little lupine offers a tie to the land of Texas and our ancestors. For Marlene, the blue carpet over the rolling hills beings back many memories. I have the same experience when I find them among the cactus and rocks of the Hill Country. I suppose the taller Bluebonnets of the Big Bend Region carry similar experiences for West Texas folks. And the North Texas folks when they see the solid blue fields around Dallas. Regardless of where a Texas is born, we share a love for and deep appreciation for the Bluebonnet and their companions, the Indian Paintbrush. Here are a few of the pics from this week. 

The Texas Bluebonnet (Lupinu texenius)

Indian Paintbrush

Columns from Old Baylor

Ruins at Old Baylor

Gay Hill School House  (I knew someone who attended school in this building.)

Bermudiana

 

Our last day in Chappell Hill was much like our first, with intermittent thunderstorms and the threat of severe weather. Next week we will be taking Koko in for a "slidectomy” and replacement. We will stay at the Lone Star Lodge on Lake Ray Roberts for 2-5 days until the work is completed. This requires planning. So, I took the day to make our plans and work out the logistics of the lifestyle change. And that is okay! We are not "doing" traveling; we are "being" wanderers. I have no need to fill every moment of every day with adventures. We can enjoy a quiet day just by living our lives. We have no need to impress anyone, even those of you who are reading these words and have been following along with us for the last 20 months. This is not a travelogue of amazing adventures. It is a chronicle of two people who have chosen a new way of living for themselves. This is who we are and what we do. We all live lives where high adventures and "slidectomies” are part of the deal. I hope you continue to find our wanderings enjoyable and meaningful.

We drove to the Rusk KOA on Friday and set up in the misting rain. The drive was uneventful, but this was my first time on this stretch of the El Camino Real (The Royal Road). This route traces an old Native American path through East Texas and into the Brush Country near San Antonio. The Spanish built the road to link San Antonio de Bexar with Nacogdoches to exert their control over the Native People and the Mexicans who lived there. The route is likely thousands of years old and includes the Caddo Mound Site near Rusk. Historical markers occur every 2-4 miles along the way, and numerous pioneer cemeteries dot the roadside.

I look forward to returning here at some point and driving the El Camino Real, stopping at every historical marker, and reading up on the people who have traveled this beautiful, rolling countryside. But for now, we only have two nights, and I hope to find some dogwoods in bloom before we move on to Lake Ray Roberts on Sunday.

 

Our wandering has been learned from experience over a lifetime of travel. Who has been my teacher? It is none other than my travel companion after 50 years on the road! Together, we developed our rules for the road and discovered our favored ways of travel. Our way of life has evolved by finding our way along the twisting and turning roads of everyday living.

 

More importantly, Marlene has helped me see the difference between doing Bob and being Bob. I have done Bob in the pulpit, behind the wheel, and a thousand other places. However, each of those Bobs did things a little differently, depending on the situation and circumstances. However, learning to be Bob was only possible when I stopped trying to fill a role or impress someone. With Marlene, being loved without conditions makes learning how to be Bob possible. I can continue to learn, discover, and be myself because I am worth the effort. That is the real treasure buried in the field of retirement. And it is worth spending a lifetime to acquire. With that in mind, I offer you a folk song I found that speaks to this soul’s journey.

 

“Be Yourself” by Wilder Woods

 

“Show me where your darkness lies, you don't ever have to hide

Oh, you can be yourself, yeah, you can be yourself

I feel your hidden river ragin', I'm not askin' you to change it

Oh, you can be yourself, yeah, you can be yourself

Say what you want, I don't care where it goes”

 

“If I'm gonna love you completely, we gotta let it all show

Who knows you better? Who could love you any more?

You can trust me completely, I'm just askin' for

You be yourself, oh, you can be yourself”

 

“You're my hero, you're my villain, oh, and I don't care who wins

Oh, you can be yourself, yeah, you can be yourself

I'm in love with all your pages, I don't want to see it end

Oh, you can be yourself, yeah, you can be yourself."

 

“Say what you want, I don't care where it goes

If I'm gonna love you completely, we gotta let it all show

Who loved you better? Who could love you any more?

You can trust me completely, I'm just askin' for

You to be yourself, oh, you can be yourself”

 

“The way I see it, we are all afraid to love (be yourself)

It's safe to let me love you

No part of you I wouldn't touch (you can be yourself)

We fall down, we weaponize our words (be yourself)

No secret has the power to diminish your worth."

 

“Say what you want, I don't care where it goes

If I'm gonna love you completely, we gotta let it all show

Who loved you better? Who could love you any more?

You can trust me completely, I'm just askin' for

You to be yourself, oh, you can be yourself”

 

The Meaning Behind The Song: Be Yourself by Wilder Woods, https://oldtimemusic.com/w3/the-meaning-behind-the-song-be-yourself-by-wilder-woods/.

 

(If you are unfamiliar with this song, check out this YouTube link.)

 

Travel well, my friends! I hope you are being loved into becoming you!

 

Bob