When Habits Fail Us...

“If you want different in your life, your actions will need to match that. Switch up your routines, create newer goals, take massive risks, pick up new hobbies, and try different styles. Fully embody the energy of change.” ~Robin S. Baker

Five years ago this week, we moved out of our house of 18 years and began our transformation into full-time RVers. At that time, I was taking the first step toward making a significant life change: Letting go of what bound us to our yesterday and prevented us from claiming our tomorrow! My reliance on habits to navigate daily life was the most significant challenge to this letting go. My early professional career was influenced by various people discussing forming good habits. "Experts" wrote books and held seminars extolling the virtue of habits. And so, by the end of that career, I had created a very habitual life! And letting go of that auto-living was intimidating. But with deep resolve, I cut myself adrift and began my journey down a long and winding stream. There were many currents, shoals, and hidden tree stumps. And, without habits to autopilot me, I felt very uncomfortable. So, my solution? Create more habits to make life feel more normal. But, in the ensuing years, I have learned a bit more about navigating my life. In the process, I have learned the difference between a habit and a routine.

On Sunday, emboldened by warmer long-range weather forecasts, we packed away many of our winter clothes. Easily accessible storage is a precious commodity in Koko. The space for hanging clothes is only a single bar that is four feet long. Our house had twenty+ feet of double bars in several walk-in closets. Our Garage/Storage and five large closets in our apartment became one cupboard in Koko that is 3x4x3 feet. And a quarter of this space is for dirty laundry. We had no choice but to use the limited deep storage under the bed for our out-of-season clothes. Old habits from life in Houston said it was time to put away the long-sleeved shirts and heavy coats and make room for shorts and more tee shirts! It did not take much thought, which is the critical attribute for habits. But the road has taught us that such unthinking habits do not serve us very well in the unpredictable weather of full-time RV life. We decided to risk it! But had to stop and think through leaving room clothes for layering just in case the forecast was too optimistic. This converted a habit into a routine, and it made all the difference. A habit requires little to no thought or attentiveness. Whereas a routine is a choice that requires paying attention to and sorting out the details.

 

Our trip on Tuesday to the National Butterfly Center and Bentsen – Rio Grande Valley State Park offered us a chance to enjoy this Rio Grande Valley weather. We were greeted at the National Butterfly Center by Spike, who seemed very happy to see us again! (Though I am not sure that is a grin!) We planned on lunch at the Center. Fortunately, in the last week, we converted a failed habit of setting out our lunch to pick up on the way out of the door into a routine of keeping our ready-to-go backpack in the jeep. That change made it possible to have lunch with the birds and butterflies. Here are a few of our lunch partners. 

 

 

 

Turkey strutting their stuff!

Altamira Oriole

Hybrid Altamira and Adubon's Oriole

Yellow-Throated Warbler

Twisted Turkey (Sounds like a Rock Band)

Audubon's Oriole

1st Year Altamira Oriole

Northern Cardinal

Great-tailed Grackle

Golden-fronted Woodpecker

Curve-billed Thrasher

Femaile Grackle

Ladder-backed Woodpecker

Red Admiral

American Snout

Bashful Kinglet

Spike enjoying the sunshine.

American Snout

Chachalaca

Male Great-tailed Grackle performing for the ladies.

Male Great-tailed Grackle in a staring contest. He won!

Golden-fronted Woodpecker enjoying his fruit break.

 

The next day, it was time to head to H-E-B and replenish the larder. One of our routines is to only shop after lunch! We come home with way too many snacky foods. So, we found a Bike and Burger Bar across the street from H-E-B. We have made a habit of avoiding places called bike bars, but we decided to give it a chance since it was so convenient. It turned out well. We ate an excellent burger at a Bicycle Bar! There was a Bicycle Shop in the back, and it was decorated with all kinds of bikes. And, like Fuddruckers, they had the fixings available so that you could build your own sandwich. (Most restaurants do not know how to construct an “eatable” burger.) Ahhh…. A nice full stomach for our shopping trip! We were ready to walk the aisles at H-E-B.

 

Chachalaca portait

On Friday, the winds died down enough to allow us to get out and look for birds at Frontera Audubon in Weslaco. We have been hearing about rare birds at the Audubon over the last few weeks and hoped to add a couple new species to our list. This is an old estate that was donated to Audubon many years ago. The Thicket is an excellent habitat with well-tended trails and multiple feeding stations (each with a resident squirrel “guarding” the feeders). Unfortunately, they only had one water drip working, and the rest of the park was dry. We saw a lot more birders (and squirrels) than birds. Luck did not shine on us that day. In the past, my frustration would get the better of me because I habitually believed that if I made the trip to see them, then the least the birds could do was show up. This attitude was not about thinking but a feeling grounded in a poor assumption. Habits do not involve thought, only assumptions, and when they are thwarted, frustration develops. And so, despite the disappointment, we had a good afternoon. We saw a few birds and enjoyed watching the wildlife. We will return another day for the rare birds. Here are a few photos from the day.

Peek-a-boo Cardinal

Chachalaca's pondering the possibilities!

A wise Squirrel who understand the power of routines!

Going down!

Almost there!

Squeezing into to get the seeds.

"Drat!" (I cleaned up his language.)

I oh well. Time to empty the feeder!

Feasting

Modelling class

The Graduate!

Gotta love bugs and berries!

Blowing in the wind!

Another feeder, another squirrel.

An interrupted nap!

 

The last year has taught me to adopt more routines and limit my habits. Habits are mentally effortless. They involve developing automatic motions for things that do not need any thought. But routines require presence, intention, and attention, and accountability. All of these serve me well every single day. They work exceptionally well when my assumptions fall short, and I need to pay attention to what I am doing. Then, when things do not work out well, I may be disappointed but recognize the problem and can try something else next time! 

 

“The more you get set into your own world, the smaller your world becomes.” ~J.R. Rim

 

Life on the road is about pushing back the boundaries and expanding our home. Habits make our world smaller and more manageable. Routines open our world while still allowing us some limited ability to handle the changes that travel with us. This is made possible by more routines and fewer habits. (Check out this link to read more about habits vs. routines. https://www.nirandfar.com/habits/)

 

Two and a half weeks and counting before we are back on the road. I hope you will follow along as we head north, through the Midwest, and into the wilds of Minnesota.

 

Travel well, my friends!

Bob

 

That Wandering Freedom

 

Sunset at Tropical Trails RV Park

I begin my second year of this blog this week and remember these words from last year when I started sharing our wanderings each week.

“I want to clarify what I mean when discussing wandering as a lifestyle. The dictionary defines wanderlust as” itchy feet, a very strong or irresistible impulse to travel.” It comes from the 20th Century German word wanderlust, meaning “taking pleasure in roaming about.” Wandering emphasizes the space between where we are and where we intend to be. It is all about the in-between, the places where dreams emerge and grow. Wandering is living on the edge of time that offers surprise, wonder, and awe. It is all about the unknown, the mystery that surrounds us every moment. When we are wanderlusting, the destination and direction are not as important as the adventure of the day. We were ready to let wanderlust take the lead in our lives.” 

From "Our Full-time Wandering: Part One," posted on 2/7/2023

These words are as true today as they were a year ago. We continue to wander through our itinerary. This wandering provides us a relaxed pace for living our retirement lives with relative freedom from the tyranny of schedules and calendars. We make choices based on the moment's circumstances within the range of options our longer-term choices allow. All in all, we count ourselves very fortunate to be able to live this way, knowing that circumstances will change and there will come a time when we must (or want) to leave the road. We are both delighted that you have chosen to spend some time with us on this journey. I hope you have enjoyed these little notes from around the country and that you will keep reading and be part of this grand adventure.

Despite a week of decent weather, we have not been very busy. Our energy to get up and go must have taken a break.

The Rio Grande

We drove down to Sabal Palm Sanctuary on the Mexico Border on Sunday. We were here several years ago with friends and saw several birds. But the resacas were dry this year, and the berries and seeds had already been eaten. We saw very few birds. However, we had a nice walk in the woods. If you are wondering how close we were to the border, Marlene is looking into Mexico across the Rio Grande. Did we feel safe? Absolutely! This area has been bi-national for hundreds of years. In fact, the only reason that the border became an issue was when Mexico began outlawing slavery in the 1820s. Many Anglo Plantation Owners who immigrated to Tejas with Stephen F. Austin brought their slaves with them and started pushing for the US to annex Texas to protect their “property rights.” Yep, they feared that a Southern Underground Railroad would start up. They established a border founded on slaveholding to preserve their way of life. But the people on both sides of the border, both Hispanic and Anglo, continued to move back and forth and continue to have a sense of two-nation national life. They are bound by the ties of family, generations of friendships, and shared business interests. But the invisible monument to racism that is our Southern Border continues to exist in the hearts and minds of people who live far, far away from here. We enjoyed a wonderful afternoon walking along the very peaceful Rio Grande at Sabal Palm Sanctuary.

The Rabb Plantation House at Sabal Palm Sanctuary

 

Turkey Vulture

American Snout

Collared Peccary

The trail at Sabal Palm Sanctuary

Hanging Moss

The rest of the week was a time for kicking back and living the quiet life in a most agreeable place. On Monday, we chose to hang out at Koko and smoke a set of pork ribs while enjoying a nice day. We met a friend for lunch on Tuesday. Michael and I were in Boy Scout Troop 118 in the 1960s and had not seen each other in over 50 years. I ran into him on FB several years ago and learned he is a Financial Advisor, so we have been in contact via Zoom and phone for business. But this was the first time we sat down and discussed family and old times. Wednesday and Thursday were chill and chores days. One chore, changing the water filter in Koko, turned into an all-day project. It felt like I was back in our house! Friday was another day to catch up with an old friend, Diana, from my days at Hospice Compassus in Houston. Diana was hired to be the second Bereavement Coordinator for our office, and I helped her learn the system we were using for bereavement care. A few months after I was hired as a Chaplain at Vantage Hospice, Diana left, and we lost contact. It was great to visit with her and catch up over those lost 10 years.

Pork Ribs and a Smoked Sweet Potato

Michael and I

Diana, Marlene, and I

The Water Channel at the Old Pumphouse

After lunch with Diana, we drove down to Old Hidalgo Pumphouse on the Rio Grande. We were here several years ago with some friends and were impressed with the birds in the shrubs and trees. However, this time, the shrubs have mostly died. The few bird feeders that remain are empty. The fountains are either fouled with algae or dry. The birds have found other digs. From the days when the river flowed just outside the building, the Old Pumphouse provided irrigation water for the orchards and truck farms in the area.

After the river changed course in the 1930s, they dug a supply ditch that kept the pumphouse going for a few decades, but it ceased operation in the 1980s. The old buildings and equipment we saw on our first trip are preserved as a museum. The staff was preparing for a meeting, so we could not walk through the exhibits on this trip. I chalked this one up to a pleasant, short stroll along the border, and we headed back to Brownsville. (I took a total of four pictures on Friday.)

Pretty Good Eats!

On Saturday, we bought tickets for a Shrimp Boil at the RV Park with 50/50 Margaritas at noon. Anticipating shrimp for lunch, we discovered that the shrimp would be ready at 2:00 PM, and the two hours before were set aside for drinking margaritas and listening to 60s and 70s pop music from a woman with a boom box. The 50/50 margaritas were not lower alcohol drinks. Instead, they referred to half the proceeds paying for the drinks and the other half going into a jackpot that would be won by a draw from the tickets at the end of the day. Apparently, this is part of the Winter Texan experience. I am not a very good Winter Texan since none of this appealed to me. We grabbed our plates, like many others, and headed back to our rig. The food was good! But, as I have mentioned before, I am not that social. Oh well, life goes on!

I realize that none of this is terribly exciting for the reader. Many of you may not understand the choices we made this week. Nor was it something we imagined for our life on the road two years ago. But over the last 17 months, this has become part of our wandering life. We can choose to be as active or as lazy as we want. We can choose the climate (if not the weather) and location. We can participate in social gatherings or not. “When we are wanderlusting, the destination and direction are not as important as the adventure of the day.” And our opportunity to choose our adventures (or lack thereof) is the real lynchpin to our life on the road. We can decide how active or lazy we want to be. We continue “…to let wanderlust take the lead in our lives.”

Please hang with us as we finish our last three and a half weeks here in the Valley. We have several more birding sites to explore on the West end of the Valley and will likely revisit a few on this side. I have completed our plan for 2025 and will start booking some of the more difficult-to-get reservations in the next few weeks. We are also building out our options for the 2024 trip. In short, as we conclude our winter stay here in South Texas, I look forward to new adventures. Our second year touring the Midwest promises to be as enjoyable as the first, and I look forward to sharing it with you.

Stay tuned, my friends; the adventure continues!

 

Bob